How to deal with a parent with early dementia without making mistakes (10 expert tips)

Early dementia doesn’t mean you must suddenly become a full-time expert caregiver overnight, and it doesn’t mean you have to do this alone.

Your parents likely still have significant independence. You have time to learn, plan, and build support systems. And there are practical steps – specific things you can do today, this week, and this month – that will make this journey more manageable for both of you.

This article provides 10 practical, actionable tips for dealing with a parent with early dementia, organized by what you can tackle right now.

What “early dementia” means

Early-stage dementia means your parent is experiencing noticeable memory, thinking, or behavior changes that affect daily life, but they likely retain significant independence. This is different from normal aging. Everyone forgets names occasionally or walks into a room and wonders why they’re there.

Early dementia involves patterns like:

• Forgetting recent conversations or events repeatedly
• Difficulty managing finances, medications, or appointments that were once routine
• Getting lost in familiar places
• Word-finding struggles or repetitive questions
• Mood changes, withdrawal from activities, or uncharacteristic confusion

Your parents may still drive, live independently, handle many self-care tasks, and maintain meaningful relationships. The changes are real and progressive, but you’re not at the stage where round-the-clock supervision is typically needed.

Right now, your job isn’t to take over your parent’s life. It’s to:

• Support their remaining abilities and independence
• Communicate in ways that reduce confusion and preserve dignity
• Plan ahead for future needs while they can still participate in decisions
• Coordinate care among doctors, family members, and community resources
• Protect safety without creating unnecessary restrictions

10 practical tips on how to deal with a parent with early dementia (for caregivers)

Tip #1: Pause, breathe, and name what you’re feeling

You cannot support your parents effectively if you’re running in panic, denial, or grief. The emotional whiplash of early dementia – watching someone you love change while they’re still recognizably themselves – creates a unique kind of stress.

Naming and acknowledging your feelings is foundational to sustainable caregiving:

Write down emotions you’re feeling

Don’t filter or judge them. Common responses include: terrified, angry, guilty (for feeling relieved when you leave their house), sad, numb, resentful, helpless, or strangely calm. All are valid. Writing them makes them manageable.

Tell one trusted person what’s happening

This could be a sibling, close friend, spouse, or clergy member. Use simple language: “Mom was diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s disease last week, and I’m struggling. I needed to say that out loud to someone.” You don’t need solutions yet, just acknowledgement.

Bookmark 1–2 authoritative websites:

• Alzheimer’s Association (alz.org): Comprehensive, evidence-based information on all dementia types
• National Institute on Aging (nia.nih.gov/health/alzheimers): Government-backed resources on dementia care and research
• Alzheimers.gov: Federal portal connecting to benefits, clinical trials, and caregiver support

Avoid disappearing down internet rabbit holes tonight. These three sites will give you accurate baseline knowledge without overwhelming you.

Tip #2: Start communicating in a dementia-friendly way

How you talk to your parents directly affects their anxiety, confusion, and sense of dignity. Small communication shifts can dramatically reduce daily conflict.

Speak slowly and present one idea at a time

Instead of: “Do you want chicken or fish for dinner, and after we eat, we need to call your doctor about that prescription refill, plus your sister wants to know if you’re coming to Thanksgiving.”

Try: “Let’s decide on dinner. Would you like chicken tonight?” (Pause for answer, then move to the next topic.)

Use simple, concrete words

Replace abstract concepts with specific details. Instead of “later,” say “after lunch” or “at 3 o’clock.” Instead of “we need to talk about your future,” say “let’s review your medical paperwork together.”

Avoid arguing, correcting, or using “you already told me that”

Correcting your parent’s memory errors usually escalates frustration without improving accuracy. Their brain cannot reliably encode new memories, reminding them of this fact just highlights their loss.

Join their reality when it’s harmless

If your dad insists he needs to go to work (he retired 15 years ago), and he’s calm, sometimes it’s kinder to say, “Tell me about your work. What project are you thinking about?” rather than insisting, “Dad, you’re retired. You don’t work anymore.” This validates his emotional reality without reinforcing a delusion that could become distressing.

Tip #3: Get clear on the diagnosis and build the care team

Confusion about the diagnosis creates confusion about planning. Within the next 7 days, gather the medical clarity you need.

Schedule or attend a follow-up appointment with the diagnosing provider

If you weren’t present at the initial diagnosis (common, since many seniors attend appointments alone at first), request a family meeting with the neurologist, geriatrician, or primary care doctor. Most practices accommodate this.

Create a simple medication + doctor list

On one sheet of paper or in a shared digital document, write:

• Your parent’s full name, date of birth, and insurance information
• Current medications (name, dose, frequency, prescribing doctor, purpose)
• All doctors involved in their care (primary care, specialists, dentist) with phone numbers
• Pharmacy name and phone number

Keep copies in your wallet, your parent’s home, and with any other family members involved in care.

Ask specific questions at the follow-up appointment:

1. What type of dementia is this, and how confident are you in that diagnosis?
2. What changes should I expect over the next 6–12 months?
3. Is it safe for my parents to live alone right now?
4. What about driving?
5. What are the fall risks, and do we need home safety changes?
6. Are there medications that could help slow progression or manage symptoms?
7. When should I come back, and what signs mean I should call sooner?

Tip #4: Make home safer without making it feel like a hospital

Simple environmental changes reduce accident risks while preserving your parent’s sense of autonomy and familiarity.

Throughout the home:

• Remove or secure throw rugs
• Improve lighting, especially in hallways, stairs, and bathrooms; consider motion-sensor nightlights for nighttime bathroom trips
• Declutter walkways (stacks of mail, extra furniture, cords across pathways)
• Label key doors and drawers with large, clear words or pictures (e.g., “BATHROOM” on the bathroom door, picture of socks on the sock drawer)

Kitchen:

• Set up a pill organizer (large-compartment weekly organizers from any Denver-area pharmacy; fill it together weekly)
• Post emergency numbers by the phone in large print: 911, your cell, poison control, primary doctor
• Consider an automatic stove shut-off device if you’re worried about fire risk (products like iGuardStove are available online)
• Tape a medication list to the refrigerator (useful for EMTs in an emergency)

Bathroom:

• Install grab bars near the toilet and in the shower
• Use a non-slip bath mat
• Adjust water heater to 120°F maximum to prevent scalding

Bedroom:

• Keep a phone and flashlight on the nightstand
• Lower bed height if needed (makes getting in/out safer)

General planning:

• Give a spare key to a trusted neighbor or family member
• Create a “go-bag” for emergencies: copy of medication list, ID, insurance cards, advance directive, bottled water, non-perishable snack

What NOT to do:

• Don’t strip the home of all familiar items or redecorate drastically
• Don’t install institutional-looking equipment (hospital beds, excessive signage) unless functionally necessary
• Don’t make changes without explaining them to your parents first (even if they forget the conversation later, the respect matters in the moment).

Tip #5: Create a gentle daily routine and meaningful activities

Predictable structure reduces “what happens next?” anxiety for your parents and decision fatigue for you. When every day follows a loose template, your parent’s brain doesn’t have to work as hard to navigate basic tasks.

Sample daily structure (customize to your parent’s preferences)

Morning (7:00 – 11:00 AM):

• Same wake-up time every day
• Simple breakfast (offer two choices maximum: “Oatmeal or toast?”)
• Short physical activity: 10–15 minute walk around the neighborhood, gentle stretching, or gardening

Midday (11:00 AM – 2:00 PM):

• Lunch at a consistent time
• One mentally engaging activity: simple puzzles, folding laundry, listening to favorite music, looking at photo albums, sorting buttons or coins
• Key insight: “Meaningful” doesn’t mean complex. People with early dementia often enjoy tasks that feel productive but have low failure risk (folding towels, watering plants, stirring ingredients).

Afternoon (2:00 – 5:00 PM):

• Social contact: phone call with a grandchild, visit from a friend, attendance at an adult day program (more on this below), or time with a neighbor
• Quiet activity: reading, watching a familiar TV show, sitting outside
• Avoid over scheduling

Evening (5:00 – 9:00 PM):

• Dinner at the same time
• Calm activity: gentle music, hand massage, simple conversation
• Bedtime routine (consistency here improves sleep quality)

Introducing adult day programs

Adult day programs are structured daytime supervision that provides safety, social interaction, and cognitive stimulation while giving you respite to work, run errands, or simply breathe.

What adult day programs typically offer:

• Supervised activities (music, art, light exercise, games)
• Nutritious meals and snacks
• Medication management and health monitoring
• Transportation (many programs offer van pickup in the Denver metro area)
• Social interaction with peers (reduces isolation)
• Professional staff trained in dementia care

Denver-area resources to explore adult day options:

• 2-1-1 Colorado ADRD Navigator page (call 2-1-1 or visit colorado211.org)
• Denver Regional Council of Governments (DRCOG) Area Agency on Aging (drcog.org, 303-480-6700)
• Colorado Gerontological Society (senioranswers.org)
• Trung tâm Chăm sóc Người lớn Sunrise

Tip #6: Share the load early

You are not supposed to handle a parent with dementia alone. Early-stage dementia is the best time to build your support network, before crisis forces hasty decisions.

Family:

• Siblings: Schedule a family meeting (in-person or video call) to discuss diagnosis, current needs, and how to divide responsibilities. Assign specific roles: one sibling manages medical appointments, another handles finances, a third coordinates social visits.
• Extended family: Aunts, uncles, adult cousins, anyone who cares about your parents can take one small task off your plate.

Friends and neighbors:

• Long-time friends of your parents may welcome the chance to help. Specific asks work better than open-ended offers: “Could you call Mom every Tuesday afternoon just to chat?” or “Would you be willing to take her to church on Sundays?”

Faith or community groups:

• Many Denver-area churches, synagogues, mosques, and community centers have volunteer visitor programs or support ministries for seniors. Ask your parent’s place of worship if they offer this.

Professionals:

• Geriatric care managers (assess needs and coordinate services; typically $100–$200/hour but can save you dozens of hours of research)
• Home health aides (help with bathing, dressing, meal prep)
• Dementia care consultants

Hiệp hội Alzheimer, Chi nhánh Colorado (alz.org/co, 24/7 Helpline: 800-272-3900)

• Free support groups (virtual and in-person across metro Denver)
• Education classes on dementia care, communication, and legal/financial planning
• Care consultation services
• Respite care information

DRCOG Area Agency on Aging / Aging and Disability Resources for Colorado (ADRC) (drcog.org, 303-480-6700)

• Free, unbiased options counseling (helps you compare in-home care, adult day programs, assisted living, etc.)
• Information on Colorado Medicaid waivers for dementia care
• Caregiver support programs
• Respite vouchers (some funding available for short-term relief care)

Colorado Department of Human Services – Aging and Adult Services (cdhs.colorado.gov, 303-866-2800)

• State-level caregiver support programs
• ADRC locator for resources statewide
• Information on Colorado’s long-term care system

Tip #7: Plan for driving, medications, and emergencies

These three areas create the most common safety crises in early dementia. Address them proactively this month.

Driving

Driving represents independence and identity for many seniors. Losing it feels like losing freedom. But dementia impairs reaction time, judgment, and spatial awareness—often before the person realizes it.

Warning signs to watch for:

• Getting lost in familiar areas
• Fender benders, dents, or scrapes on the car
• Traffic violations or warnings from other drivers
• Hesitation at intersections or inappropriate speed (too fast or too slow)
• Forgetting the purpose of the trip mid-drive
• Family members expressing fear about riding with them

Steps to take:

1. Raise the topic gently: “I’ve noticed a couple of things that worry me about driving. Can we talk about this?” Avoid accusatory language.
2. Involve the doctor: Many seniors will accept a physician’s directive more readily than a family member’s. Ask the doctor to order a cognitive driving evaluation—occupational therapists conduct these, and they’re covered by Medicare in Colorado.
3. Consider alternatives before revoking the license: Limit driving to familiar routes in daylight, arrange rides with family/friends, or introduce paratransit services.
4. If you must stop driving entirely: Remove car keys, disable the car (disconnect battery), or even sell the vehicle. Then immediately set up alternative transportation (family rotation, RTD Access-a-Ride for eligible Denver residents with disabilities, Lyft/Uber, senior van services).

Medications

Clarify who is responsible:

• Is your parent managing medications independently?
• Are you filling the pill organizer and checking it?
• Is a visiting nurse or home health aide handling this?
• Does the adult day program administer midday medications?

Set up systems to prevent missed or doubled doses:

• Large-compartment pill organizers with AM/PM sections for the full week
• Smartphone alarms or standalone medication reminder devices
• Blister pack prescriptions from the pharmacy
• Automatic pill dispensers (devices like MedMinder or Hero dispenser that lock and alarm at dose times)

Emergency

Create a “go-bag” (detailed in Tip #4, reinforced here):

• Copy of medication list
• Health insurance and Medicare cards (photocopies are fine)
• Photo ID for your parent
• Advance directive or MOST form (Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment)
• Contact list: your number, other family, primary doctor
• Bottled water and non-perishable snack

Tip #8: Start gentle future planning (legal & financial)

Your parents may still be able to clearly express their wishes now. In six months or a year, they may lack the legal capacity to sign documents. This window won’t stay open.

Key legal documents to discuss

Durable Power of Attorney (POA) for Healthcare:

• Designates someone (often you) to make medical decisions if your parent cannot
• Must be signed while your parent still has capacity to understand what they’re signing

Durable Power of Attorney for Finances:

• Allows someone to manage bank accounts, pay bills, handle taxes, and make financial decisions
• Prevents the need for court-appointed guardianship/conservatorship later (which is expensive, slow, and invasive)

Advance Healthcare Directive (also called Living Will or Medical Directive):

• Documents your parent’s wishes for end-of-life care: Do they want CPR? Ventilator? Feeding tube? Hospice?
• Prevents family conflict and guilt during crisis situations
• Colorado also offers a MOST (Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment) form, which is signed by both patient and doctor and travels with the patient to hospitals and nursing facilities

Will or estate plan update:

• Ensures assets go where your parent intends
• May include trust arrangements to protect assets if Medicaid becomes necessary

Beneficiary reviews:

• Check that beneficiaries on life insurance, retirement accounts, and bank accounts are up to date (these override wills)

Where to find help in Denver

• Colorado Bar Association Elder Law Section (cobar.org): Referral service for elder law attorneys
• Denver Metro Volunteer Lawyers (metrovolunteerlawyers.org): Some free or low-cost legal help for income-eligible seniors
• Private elder law attorneys: Search for “elder law attorney Denver” or “elder care planning attorney Colorado”; expect to pay $200 – $500 per hour, though many offer flat-fee packages for common documents ($1,500 – $3,000 for POA, directive, and will together)

Tip #9: Protect their dignity and your relationship

Early dementia creates a painful paradox: your parents need more help, but they’re still the person who raised you. Balancing care and respect requires intentional effort.

Things to avoid

Don’t argue about facts or correct every detail.

Your mom insists she had lunch with her sister yesterday (her sister lives 500 miles away and hasn’t visited in months). Correcting her accomplishes nothing except making her feel confused and defensive. If the misremembering is harmless, let it go.

Don’t talk about your parents as if they’re not in the room.

Even people with moderate dementia often understand more than they can express. Telling the doctor “Mom can’t remember anything anymore” while she sits next to you is dehumanizing. Instead: “Mom’s been having more trouble with her memory. Mom, is it okay if I share some examples with the doctor?”

Don’t treat them like a child.

Avoid baby talk, sing-song voices, or nicknames they never used. Your parent is an adult with a neurological disease, not a toddler.

Don’t take over tasks they can still do.

If your parents can still brush their teeth, dress themselves, or make a sandwich (even if it takes longer), let them. Doing everything for them accelerates dependence and steals small dignities.

Focus on connection, not correctness

Prioritize emotional truth over factual accuracy. If your dad talks about his childhood farm with joy, lean into that connection – ask questions, listen to stories, share the feeling – even if some details are confused. The goal is to help someone with Alzheimer’s remember who they are emotionally, not to fact-check every sentence.

Physical affection (if your parent welcomes it):

Holding hands, hugs, gentle shoulder or hand massages – non-verbal connection remains meaningful long after verbal communication becomes difficult.

Tip #10: Take care of yourself and know when to add more help

Signs you need extra support right now:

• You’re not sleeping or sleeping poorly due to worry
• You feel constantly angry, resentful, or “touched out”
• You’re dreading visits or phone calls with your parent
• You’ve stopped doing things you enjoy (hobbies, social time, exercise)
• You’re experiencing physical symptoms: headaches, stomach issues, high blood pressure, frequent illness
• You’re using alcohol, food, or other substances to cope
• Your own relationships (partner, kids, friends) are suffering
• You feel trapped or fantasize about “escaping”

Signs your parent is unsafe alone during the day:

• Wandering or getting lost
• Forgetting to eat or take critical medications
• Falling repeatedly
• Leaving stove burners on or forgetting food cooking
• Letting strangers into the home or financial exploitation vulnerability
• Extreme agitation, paranoia, or aggression

If your parent exhibits any of these, they need daytime supervision immediately.

Denver-area options to explore:

Adult day centers (daytime structure and supervision):

See Tip #5 for a detailed resource list. Most programs operate Monday – Friday, 8 AM – 4 PM. Enrollment can be as few as 1 – 2 days per week or full-time.

In-home help:

• Home health aides: Assist with bathing, dressing, meal prep, medication reminders, light housekeeping
• Companion care: Non-medical companionship and supervision
• Private geriatric care managers: Coordinate all services and monitor your parent’s status

Respite care (short-term relief for caregivers):

• DRCOG Caregiver Support Program: Some funding for respite vouchers (eligibility-based; call 303-480-6700)
• National Family Caregiver Support Program (NFCSP): Federal program administered through Colorado ADRC; may provide respite grants
• Overnight respite at assisted living or memory care communities: Many Denver facilities offer “trial stays” (1–7 nights) so you can take a break; costs vary ($150–$300/night)

Support groups (for your emotional health):

• Alzheimer’s Association Colorado Chapter: Multiple virtual and in-person support groups specifically for family caregivers (free; check alz.org/co for schedule)
• Denver area hospitals: Many offer caregiver support groups through their senior services departments (e.g., UCHealth, AdventHealth, Denver Health)
• Senior centers: Ask about caregiver-specific programming
• Online communities: ALZConnected (Alzheimer’s Association online forum), AgingCare.com forums

Financial assistance:

• Colorado Medicaid (Elderly, Blind, and Disabled waiver): May cover adult day services and some in-home care if your parent qualifies
• Veterans Affairs (VA) benefits: If your parent is a veteran, Aid and Attendance benefits may pay for in-home or adult day care (call Denver VA Medical Center: 303-399-8020)
• Long-term care insurance: Review your parent’s policy for adult day or in-home care benefits

When to consider next steps

While this article focuses on early dementia when your parents may still live independently or with minimal support, it’s important to know the signs that a higher level of care might be needed soon.

Consider assisted living or memory care when:

• Your parent can no longer safely live alone even with in-home help or adult day programs
• Wandering becomes frequent or dangerous
• Behavioral symptoms (aggression, paranoia, severe agitation) exceed what non-institutional care can manage
• Medical needs require skilled nursing supervision beyond what home health provides
• You (the primary caregiver) are experiencing health crises due to caregiver stress

This is not giving up. It’s recognizing that your parent’s needs have outgrown what home-based solutions can safely provide.

If you reach this point, DRCOG’s options counseling (303-480-6700) and the Alzheimer’s Association Colorado Chapter can help you understand facility options, costs, Medicaid applications, and how to preserve your parent’s dignity through the transition.

Câu hỏi thường gặp (FAQ)

How do I know if it’s really early dementia and not just normal aging?

Normal aging means occasionally forgetting names or misplacing items temporarily. Dementia involves persistent patterns that disrupt daily life: repeatedly asking the same question within minutes, forgetting entire conversations, getting lost in familiar places, and struggling with once-routine tasks like managing bills. If memory problems affect your parent’s independence, schedule a cognitive evaluation with their doctor.

What should I do when my parents get angry or accuse me of things that aren’t true?

Stay calm and don’t argue. Validate their emotion without confirming the accusation (“I can see you’re upset. Let me help”) and gently redirect to something calming. If accusations become frequent, consult their doctor about medication adjustments.

Is it okay for my parents with early dementia to live alone in Denver?

Many people with early-stage dementia live alone safely with support systems: daily check-ins, medication reminders, adult day programs 2–3 days weekly, and home safety modifications. The key questions are: Can they handle an emergency and call for help? Are they eating, taking medications, and avoiding safety hazards like leaving the stove on? When uncertain, request a professional safety assessment from their physician or a geriatric care manager.

How do I bring up adult day programs or extra help without hurting their feelings?

Focus on benefits rather than limitations: “I found a center where you can do activities with other people, have lunch, and stay social a couple days a week. I think you might enjoy it.” Offer to visit together for a trial day, and if they resist, ask their doctor to recommend it as part of the care plan.

Where can I find support as a dementia caregiver in Denver?

Start with the Alzheimer’s Association Colorado Chapter (800-272-3900) for 24/7 helpline, free support groups, and education. DRCOG Area Agency on Aging (303-480-6700) provides free options counseling and respite vouchers. 2-1-1 Colorado (dial 2-1-1) connects you to local adult day programs, in-home care, and caregiver resources.

What is life expectancy with early-stage Alzheimer’s or dementia?

Average life expectancy from Alzheimer’s diagnosis is 4 – 8 years, though some live 20+ years depending on age, health, and dementia type. Early-stage typically lasts 2 – 4 years before progressing to moderate stage. Focus on maximizing quality of life rather than timelines, ask your parent’s neurologist for personalized prognosis information.